I am far from being an expert on China. I realize that a two week tour (2014) of four major cites is a bit like the story poem about the six blind men describing the elephant. It would be easy to think I have seen China, but in truth I know only glimpses of three provinces. And the differences between one province and another are far greater than the differences between states in the U.S.. As I've been told, there is "old party" China and "progressive" China. The mindset of some provinces is decades behind others. There is also a generational divide. The 2008 Beijing Olympics, for instance, opened international doors and sparked an optimism in those who are now age 30 or younger (those who cannot resist making a peace sign during a photograph). But that enthusiasm is not equally distributed across the Chinese mainland.
Enoch's province (see Chapter 1) is very entrenched in the old ways. Only the "city center" shows hint of 21st Century development. The rest of the urban sprawl is very crowded, with smells of diesel buses and the whine of motor cycles leap-frogging up the narrow streets and rows of older apartment buildings covering what once were the foothills of more distant mountains. The grid of monotonous streets lack parks and "green spaces" and show no visible signs of nature but the sound of local roosters crowing every morning. (Enoch says he hates them waking him at 4:00 in the morning, but some neighbors raise chickens for eggs and for sale.) I saw nothing like Guiyang when I was in China, but I love hearing Enoch talk about it. Oddly, I show more interest in my questions about his home town than Enoch shows in his reply. There is an emotional detachment, which could be protective in his present or reflective of his past.
I have never met the two teachers that contrast Enoch's 10th grade (Chapter 2) and the first half of 11th grade (described below) before he came to Calvary. Based on how these events have been told to me, however, I'm inclined to think Ms. Joy was more like those educators I met in 2014 who were eager to see their students succeed, even by going to school in the U.S. It is quite possible that Ms. Joy knew of Enoch's family story, of his father being a pastor, perhaps even of his imprisonment, and that she admired Enoch because of these things. She certainly treated him as though this were the case.
By contrast, it is quite possible that Enoch's 11th grade teacher, Ms. Glum I will call her, also knew Enoch's story and resented him. Or it is possible that she was simply the product of oppression (described in Sidebar 1). Or it is possible that she was just "that short-fused teacher" we all have had who likes to pick on one unfortunate kid in the class. Based on how these events have been told to me, maybe all three of the above are true.
It was actually the same conversation in which Enoch explained a "pat on the back" does not exist in China--not even from a favorite teacher. He told me about that, to provide context for what happened to him in the six months that we were trying and failing to begin his journey to Calvary.
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"She stood at front like teachers do," Enoch said, "No smile. Very not nice, and she said in Chinese, 'Officials ask us to fill out this form. They ask us if we have any Christian in our class, and I tell them, 'We have no Christians in my class.' And then she looked at each student and me, and said again, 'We have no Christians. Correct? That is good. I will tell them 'None.' Now take out your book."
"Had a teacher ever surveyed with that question before?" I asked.
"No. Only Ms, Glum. She said she was asked to find out if Christians. But first she told us how we must answer before she even asked."
"Are there other Christians in your school or in your class?" I followed up.
"No. Not in my grade or in my school. Only me, but they do not know I am Christian. My parents tell me not to get in trouble with the teachers. They have big power."
"Maybe there are other silent Christians who don't speak to keep out of trouble." I suggested.
"I don't think so. The people in Family Churches know who each other are," he said with confidence. "We just be careful to not talk about it when not in church."
"Even so, Enoch, I don't understand how your teachers do not know about your father. I can show you many many articles about your father on-line in the U.S. Are you sure Ms. Glum does not know you are a Christian?"
"I do not think teachers at my school knew about the Party closing our church and where my father..." Here he paused then whispered, "Do you know my father was in prison?"
I was surprised by this question, but in thinking back on our six months of emails, Enoch and I were not free to speak about his father. I always wrote as if the same plain-clothes police that watch his house also had a way to read his email. I learned of Enoch's father's wrongful imprisonment through my American contacts, but in truth, it was his father's tragedy that gave birth to this plan. My American contacts gave my information to Enoch's father in July, 2018. He had just been released from prison for being pastor of a house church that had grown too large for officials to ignore. He had just been told of a school in the U.S. called Calvary. This school would accept his son. He had just learned of the great level of trust between his American contact (who had also been in a Chinese prison for his faith) and the headmaster at Calvary. I said none of this to Enoch because the mystery of how our paths had crossed and how he came to be sitting at my breakfast table was a subject we had not yet discussed.
So when he whispered, "Do you know my father was in prion, I simply said,"Yes. I have known about why your father was in prison since the first day you wrote me. I believe he is courageous, your mother is courageous, and you are very courageous."
Enoch smiled and took great comfort in knowing that I knew a secret he thought he had been keeping from me.
"But in China," Enoch continued to explain, "No one knows this thing about my father. No one I know speaks of the [name of] Church or my father. That is why I say nothing at school when Ms. Glum asked that thing. If I speak out, many others--not me--pay the price. We are not afraid but always careful. But even though I cause no trouble at school, Ms. Glum, try every day to make my life miserable. She blame me for talking when I do not talk. She tells class to put away work and just sit. Just waste time, so I read a book or do homework, and she humiliated me in front of whole class for trying to make use of minutes."
"Enoch," I said, "I think Ms. Glum did know you were a Christian. I think she did know about your father. Maybe not, but why else would she do these things?"
"Because she is bitter like coffee without CoffeeMate."[Enoch does not like coffee, but a few days before he had watched me use French Vanilla CoffeeMate. He tried it. "Dericious," he smiled, poured many glugs into his cup (about 1 to 1 ratio), and drank it down in a few gulps. But back to the story...]
"Ms. Glum just hates me. Even the other students say this. When I am sad, they say, 'Don't worry that she is angry--that is normal for her.'"
"Enoch," I interrupted, "What was your last day at that school like? Were you allowed to tell anyone you were going?"
"No. I could tell no one. There is one friend. My good friend. We do homework together. She is very good at science."
"She?" I smiled.
"No. It is not like that. She is in 10th grade. We are just very good friends. My last week, I went to her room at lunch time--we eat in our classrooms by grade, but I left my room and went to her room and say, 'Can I eat lunch with you?' She smiled and said 'yes,' but that is all. I could not tell her I was leaving, but I wanted to have lunch with her because we are just friends."
I smiled. "Was the last day at school hard. I mean... knowing it was your last day?"
"I did not exactly know it was my last day. My parents did not want me to know which day was my last day. We do not have lockers like what I have at Calvary. Just book bags [backpacks] full of books. I carried mine home full just like any day. Walk out the school just like any day. See my classmates get off the bus halfway home just like any day. Then when I got home, my father said, 'Tomorrow we visit your grandmother, and then you will go to Hong Kong. It is not safe to wait for passport here.'"
"It was very smart for him to not tell you which day was your last. Maybe he thought you might be sad at school." I said, trying to put myself in his father's shoes.
"Yes. I think so. Also I was excited. I was nervous. I was many things because no one could know. Not even my grandmother."
"Does she live in your city?" I asked.
"Yes. Not far away. We went to see her. My parents knew I would want to say goodbye, but I could not say why I came on a school day. They told her it was a special day. Not until I was in Hong Kong and on the plane did they tell her where I was going."
"And what about your study friend? Does she know where you are?"
"Yes. She knows now. I texted her two nights ago to study biology."
"What?" I smiled. "You can text her in China? Is that safe?"
"Yes. All my classmates know now. They know I am in America. My study friend was mad at me. She asked me why I did not tell her, but I could only say 'There are reasons I could not say.' She said that if I had told her I was leaving, she would not have eaten lunch with me those last two days."
"I think she likes you..." I warned with a smile.
"No it was not like that," he blushed a bit. "And I am here now... so, good luck. That can't be."
"But after you told her she was still willing to help you with your biology again?" I asked, intrigued more than ever at this new information.
"Yes. She is very smart and good at biology. She agrees we can still study sometimes even though she says I am foolish for going to America."
"Enoch, someday I believe you will be free to explain to her everything that you cannot explain now."
"Yes," he smiled, "When the party is over."
We both laughed. I was not sure he knew the double meaning of his remark. "Is that something you say with friends at your old school?" I asked.
His face feigned horror. "No. I could never say that. Only here am I free to say what I think."
"How did Ms. Glum find out you were gone?"
"My mother and father went to my school to get my transcripts for Calvary. First they saw Ms. Joy. When they told her I was in America to study. She was very happy for me. She said something like, 'Oh, Enoch, will be big successful.' But she did not say 'Enoch' because they only know my Chinese name."
"But she was happy for you? I'm glad ..."
"Yes. Very happy. She is my best teacher. But do you know what Ms. Glum did when my parents went to her classroom to tell her? She make them feel shame. She said, 'You are bad example to all of these students.' They were standing in the doorway of classroom where Ms. Glum is in charge and all my classmates were sitting there. That is when they learned I was gone. But do you know what else she did? She told one of the boys to pull my seat [desk] out of the room, and she said out loud, 'Pull it out now. Take it away. There. You see? There is no seat for Enoch at this school ever again.' She did not say Enoch, but she said that to my parents. No place for me there ever again. She told them I can never come back. And my parents just stood and watched..."
He stopped talking, searching as he does for English words to clarify his feelings, but no more words came. He just looked at me and shook his head. His eyes were brimming, and so were mine.
It was sad to hear him tell me, but in truth I had already been told what Ms. Glum did by "Stone" our contact and translator between Enoch's home and ours. He had called me a few days after we picked Enoch up at the airport. He wanted me to know that Enoch's parents are very very happy he is with us but that we may need to be patient with him for a few days. He was far more homesick than he ever imagined. Far more afraid than he had feared. This past six months were like something from a book. The months of planning; the paperwork, the red tape, the stressful visa interviews. the failed attempts; the secrecy even as we did everything legally; the goodbyes without the word goodbye; the being swept off to Hong Kong with less than a day's notice; the long flight; the tired smile with the "Enoch" sign at the airport; the first meal with total strangers; the 12-hour jet lag; the sleeping for nearly 24 hours straight... and then the news... the finality... the banishment declared by Ms. Glum. It is one thing to successfully beat the odds and fulfill your family's dream of getting to America. It is another thing to be told sternly that you can never come back. At first this broke his heart, and he wept with his parents on the phone. His mother prayed with him, and that helped tremendously, but still he bore this heartache in secret during the many hours of privacy behind the closed door of his room.
When he came out of his room after two days of sleep, he was smiles and ever grateful to all of the people who made this happen. All that was going on between his days of rest upon arriving and this conversation at the breakfast table. Rather than telling him I knew of his difficulty, I just let him tell me about it himself.
"When my father told me this I was very sad. He told me that my second day here with you. I called him on the phone. I was so tired, and you were so kind to let me sleep and sleep. I feel much better now, and everyone at Calvary is so kind. Now when I think of Ms. Glum, I smile to know she sees an empty place where my seat used to be."
"Enoch," I asked. "Do you remember in an email when I told you that 'Enoch' means 'walks with God'?"
"Yes. I know this."
"Well, the rest the verse says 'Enoch walked with God and was no more.' He vanished. Do you remember when you were waiting in Hong Kong to get your passport and your plane ticket? Well, Stone told me that your school called your parents asking where you were. This frightened us. Many people you do not yet know were all praying that the school would not somehow prevent the passport approval and stop you from coming to Calvary. Just think, Enoch. Even before your plane took off, Ms. Glum was asking, 'Where did Enoch go?' Just like the verse in the Bible: 'Enoch walked with God and was no more.'"
"It's true," he smiled, "Enoch was no more..."
[on to Chapter 4]
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